Standby

Standby while we pause for station identification.

Or Jenn identification.

Or something like that.

Jenndification.

I’ve had a teeny bit of breathing room just lately. Enough to fit in some networking and such that I not only should be doing but want to do. My catchup and to do list will never end but I’m making a dent.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Catchup time at Denny’s. No bacon was actually consumed. Or ice cream actually.

Oh how I wish I could breathe out more. Soon. Standby.

Identity. What is your identity? I mean really your identity. As Brennan Manning said,

I am the one Jesus loves.

Period.

End of story.

Or is it.

I am approaching a time of respite and reflection and setting aside time to seek God’s direction. But I’m not quite there yet. Standby.

I’ve had all kinds of people try to tell me my identity in my lifetime.

I’ve been told I’m smart. I’ve been told I’m a fool.

I’ve been told I’m beautiful. I’ve been told I’d be beautiful if I lost weight.

That was from a stranger in a passing car while I waited to cross the street.

I’ve been told I’m a hard worker. I’ve been told I’m lazy and don’t follow through.

I’ve been told I’m too quiet and should speak up more. I’ve been told I talk too much.

I’ve been pigeonholed and had assumptions projected upon me. The times I’ve been asked to define myself or what I want have been rare.

I’ve been told truths. And I’ve been told lies. Deliberate lies. Lies of omission. Lies from people who are just wrong.

A little feedback is usually a good thing. But sometimes it behooves one to consider the source. Opinions are a dime a freakin’ dozen these days.

OMGosh gorillas. Jack Hanna has spoken, people. Move along, nothing to see here.

P.S. I might need the duct tape.

I’ve been told I can’t do X. I’ve been told I must do Y. None of it is true. And discussions of such take precious time away from the actual must dos (yep, there are plenty) and seeking / carrying out God’s will. Satan is very clever in the way he packages distractions.

On the progress-in-networking front, I did a mini road trip the other day to hear some new music and meet a new connection. I grabbed a couple CDs to choose from for the ride over, including a gem titled “Jenn 1”. Little did I know there was a bonus in the case … “Jenn 2”!!! I burned them several, maybe even quite a few years ago, I think for road trips to Virginia? Seriously, I dare you to get a good radio signal on the West Virginia Turnpike. And technology beyond a CD player in a rental car … good luck. I’ve included a list of the musical selections below for your amusement or reading pleasure … you make the call. I’m guessing the available music was somewhat influenced by children in charge of the family iTunes account.

Even the superwash didn’t completely remove all the bug guts after the road trip.

Also in the making progress department … I finished reading a book!!! Being in waiting rooms at various appointments – including a slightly overdue oil change – may have helped that effort, but I finished a book!!!

Room of Marvels. Shooting next year we hope? Two thumbs up. Loved it.

I generally know pretty well what belongs on my agenda and what does not. It’s still a constant battle to respectfully say no to distractions while saying yes to the good and worthy. Yes to the must dos. Yes to the things that feed my soul.

No to energy-sucking dementors.

Yes, initially anyway, to things that look like gift horses … or a rescue canoe pulling up while I’m hanging on the roof watching flood waters rise. So many turn out to be just a pile of steaming carrion when you get closer, but worth a quick look anyway.

Hopefully my agenda lines up with God’s agenda. I’ve got a snippet of my path forward, and the rest remains to be discerned. Keep moving. Let the process work. Keep moving and standby. The journey is the coolest part anyway.

I have flown standby many times.

I’m fine with standby.

When God says wait, you wait.

He also said fear not about a million times.

I'm the one Jesus loves.

So standby.

Seeking direction maybe.

Keep looking up.

For more writing on Standby from my friends, see Sue Bowles at bebold7.wordpress.com and Leisa Herren at life4inga.blogspot.com.

Jenn 1

1. This Love, Maroon 5
2. Long Black Train, Josh Turner
3. You Don’t Mess Around With Jim, Josh Turner
4. Baby Girl, Sugarland
5. Bless the Broken Road, Rascal Flatts
6. Fast Cars and Freedom, Rascal Flatts
7. Mission Temple Fireworks Stand, Sawyer Brown
8. Keep Your Hands to Yourself, Sawyer Brown
9. Dive, Steven Curtis Chapman
10. Fingerprints of God, Steven Curtis Chapman
11. Indian Outlaw, Tim McGraw
12. I Like It, I Love It, Tim McGraw
13. Flood, Jars of Clay
14. I’ll Fly Away, Keith Urban
15. Letters from War, Mark Schultz (Apparently I needed a good cry? While driving down the road? Good for Memorial Day in any case.)
16. He Will Carry Me, Mark Schultz (When he hits that sweet spot in his range – you know what I’m talking about – he could be singing the phone book, doesn’t matter.)
17. In Christ Alone, Newsboys
18. Million Pieces (Kissin’ Your Cares Goodbye), Newsboys
19. Amazing Love, Newsboys
20. If I Stand, Rich Mullins

Jenn 2 

1. Screen Door, Rich Mullins
2. Elijah, Rich Mullins
3. Hold Me Jesus, Rich Mullins
4. You Are Mine, Third Day
5. When Love Comes to Town, Todd Agnew cover of U2
6. Grace Like Rain, Todd Agnew
7. Victory in Jesus, Trace Adkins
8. Blessed Be Your Name, Tree63
9. Gloria, MercyMe
10. Live Out Loud, Steven Curtis Chapman
11. For the Love of Money, The O’Jays
12. Crazy Little Thing Called Love, Queen
13. Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy, Queen
14. Smooth, Santana ft. Rob Thomas
15. Man of Constant Sorrow (instrumental), John Hartford
16. Shake A Tail Feather, Ray Charles
17. Man of Constant Sorrow, Soggy Bottom Boys
18. Remembering You, Steven Curtis Chapman