Persona Non Grata

I waver between feeling invisible and not so invisible.

It’s been said I never met a stage I didn’t like. So being on one doesn’t really affect me one way or the other. It’s a place I hang out sometimes. I did have a cameo the other day in this gem. Well my forehead did mostly.

  

I don’t know, I guess I’m bored and confused lately. Which is similar to dazed and confused, but totally a different thing I’m sure.

I went to an event the other night. Accomplished my goal of sharing the latest thing I’m promoting, caught up with some friends, and … hmmm … saw some pretty chandeliers … and …

I guess I’m feeling some angst. I have this calmness and peace about some things. Calmness and peace and purpose.

And I’m realizing I have such a different set of priorities than the average person on the street. I suppose go read The Insanity of God by Nik Ripken and then let’s converse. I was warned.  

Yes, I was warned.

But slow and steady wins the race.

Speaking of which. I recently had a decision to make. A difficult decision. Largely based on this persona non grata vibe I seem to have going. I finally just left it in God’s hands as they say (ugh, Christianese) … and I was going to remain in place unless a clear sign came my way. Which it did. Hmmm. There were really only a couple of ways that sign could have arrived. And it was one of those. Hmmm.

I realize when we think or even just suspect others think of us negatively … more often than not they’re not thinking of us at all … because they’re too wrapped up in their own stuff. But is ceasing to exist in their world any better than existing negatively? An engineer’s answer is always, “It depends,” but perhaps Buddhist monks would have fun meditating on that one.

Oooohhhhhmmmmm.

Persona non grata is being called into service for some engineering and SoMe tasks, sooooo … cutting this short today. Keep contemplating. Keep meditating.


P.S. Dear Lord, thank you for granting me the time and gasoline for today's wild goose chase. The next time I contemplate such an adventure, please remind me of the title of this post. Ooooohhhhhhmmmmm ....

Keep looking up.

All the right friends in all the right places
So yeah we're going down
(All the right moves in all the right places)
So yeah we're going down

Paint a picture of the perfect place
They've got it better than when anyone's told ya,
I'll be the King of Hearts, you're the Queen of Spades
And we'll fight for you like we were soldiers

I know we've got it good
But they've got it made
And the grass is getting greener each day
I know things are looking up
But soon they'll take us down
Before anybody's knowing our name

They've got all the right friends in all the right places
So yeah, we're going down
They've got all the right moves in all the right faces
So yeah, we're going down

Everybody knows, everybody knows where we're going
Yeah, we're going down
I said, everybody knows, everybody knows where we're going
Yeah, we're going down

Do you think I'm special, do you think I'm nice
Am I bright enough to shine in your spaces
Between the noise you hear and the sound you like
Are we just sinking in the ocean of faces

It can't be possible that rain can fall,
Only when it's over our heads
The sun is shining everyday, but it's far away
Over the world it's said, they've got, they've got

All the right friends, in all the right places
So yeah we're going down
We got all the right moves in all the right places
So yeah we're going down

Everybody knows, everybody knows where we're going
Yeah, we're going down
Everybody knows, everybody knows where we're going
Yeah, we're going down (going down, going down, going down, going down)

It don't matter what you see
I know I could never be
Someone that'll look like you
It don't matter what you say
I know I could never face
Someone that could sound like you

~ OneRepublic’s “All the Right Moves”